Who's the Best Thief
by Laenavesse
Summary: Chp 2 up! Well it's what I hinted at in my DK Theatre fic. A "game show" seeing who's the best thief in the world of DK! The main players are: Thatz, Kitchel, and Ekidonna! Hopefully I won't kill myself and actually finish this one relatively quickly...
1. Thievery Trouble

Who's the Best Thief? – Thievery Trouble

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the DK charas or any guest anime characters that might randomly appear. At least not yet 33 Any original characters are mine O

By the way, even though my pen name is Laenavesse, it's still the ol' Angel Cesia =D Get use to it OO Yeah I'm killing myself with all these fics. Hopefully this one will be a quickie. No hidden story plots or anything Just a game show for thieves, featuring Thatz, Kitchel, and Ekidonna xD Mmmm Some OOC-ness might occur. Oh yeah one more thing. There is peace between the youkai and the dragons, but that doesn't mean we can't have some friendly rivalries…

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It was a normal average day in the peaceful land of Draqueen…

"GIVE THAT BACK, THATZ!!"

"NEVAH!!"

Well it was for a few seconds.

Kitchel glared up at the sneering Dragon Knight perched on windowsill, a rather expensive and valuable looking vase in his hand. Her hands tightened into a fist, the knuckles turning white as the nails dug into her palms, the aggravation quickly building up inside the thief. "I stole that first!!"

Thatz leaned against the windowpane, balancing the vase with one finger, enjoying the white stricken expression on Kitchel's face below. "Yes, and I stole it back from you. It's from the castle and if Alfeegi or Rune found out about this they'd be pretty upset. Which is something that I don't think _anyone_ would want to provoke," he added with a grin. His expression quickly changed as he clasped the neck of the vase between both hands as looked up at the sky, his eyes wide and watery with happiness. "When they see me return with this priceless antique, they'll let me have all the food I want…"

A small sweat bead formed next to Kitchel's head. "As if," she snorted. "When they see the vase in your hands, they'll assume that _you_ stole it."

"…Naaah!!" he laughed. He then jumped down and landed neatly on his feet, the vase still secure in his hands. "Now if you'll excuse, I have a well deserved reward to ask about." He closed his eyes and started to hum a tune as he walked down the alleyway. "You are my meal ticket to food paradise!" he exclaimed in a rather disturbingly happy voice as he rubbed the vase with his cheek.

He blinked. Were vases supposed to feel soft and fluffy? Thatz slowly turned his head and his jaw dropped all the way to the ground as he stared at a Kitchel plush sticking its tongue at him with a note saying "SUCKER!" He whirled around to just catch Kitchel dashing around the corner. "KITCHEL!!"

The thief smiled to herself as she clutched the fragile piece of art close to her chest. _That loser. I always warned him that his stomach would be the end of him_. She mentally laughed as she hopped over a stoned wall and continued her dash to the other end of the city. She glanced backwards only to find to her great surprise and horror a rather angry Thatz charging after her like a bull. "AAAHHH!!"

"GIVE ME BACK MY MEAL TICKET TO FOOD PARADISE!!" Thatz screeched as he slowly closed the distance.

Everyone dived out of the way and braced themselves as things flew around thanks to the wind Thatz's speed was creating. When the two thieves passed through and everything settled down, the citizens of Draqueen just stared at each other and sighed. Yes it was another chaotic day in Draqueen…

It was late afternoon and Thatz and Kitchel were standing with their heads hanging low as both Rune and Alfeegi berated on their careless and reckless behaviour. In the end, Kitchel had tripped over an apple and even though Thatz dove to catch it, the too-old-to-remember vase brushed against his fingertips and crashed into small, tiny, unfixable pieces. Everyone inside the castle could hear the two so clearly one would think they were next to him.

Ruwalk sighed as he heard Alfeegi start his lengthy speech of how each relic in the castle held some sort of important history and looked at Lykouleon, the Dragon Lord's head deep in his work. "How can you work with Alfeegi going on like that?"

"Years of practice."

The Dragon Officer sighed and shook his head as he tuned back in to hear Rune now ranting on Thatz for not adhering to his duties as a Dragon Knight. He gave a small chuckle. How Rune and Alfeegi were alike. It scared him actually. Ruwalk paused and imagined Rune being promoted and working alongside Alfeegi. He nodded solemnly as he came to a conclusion: he'd quit his job.

Lykouleon glanced up. "I think they've finished. I wonder what Alfeegi will do to them…"

Ruwalk blinked. He had been in such deep thought about Alfeegi and Rune, he had tuned out of the ranting and had not noticed the rather ominous silence. "Should I go find out?"

"If you're willing to risk it, go for it."

Ruwalk looked at the Dragon Lord. "You make it sound like they're on a warpath…" He slowly opened the door and peeked outside. Seeing the rather ominous dark look on Alfeegi's face heading toward the Dragon Lord's office, he quickly shut the door and pressed his back against it. "Okay, you were right. He's on a warpath."

"Years of experience…years of experience… Oh, and you might want to step away from the door," Lykouleon added without looking up.

The Dragon Officer raised an eyebrow and stepped away from the door as advised. Just in time, too, as Alfeegi all but knocked the doors out of their hinges as he burst through the double doors. Ruwalk thought weakly where he would have landed if Lykouleon had not warned him. In his mind he imagined a chibified version of himself praying to the high heavens.

"LORD LYKOULEON!!" Alfeegi yelled in as much of a composed manner as he could (which was not very much). "I've had it up to _here_ with those two!!" he said through clenched teeth as he raised his hand to his neck to emphasize the "here". "You must do something!!"

"And what do you suggest?" Lykouleon said calmly as he slowly placed his pen down and interlaced his fingers to form a hand bridge to rest his chin on. "Relieve Thatz of his Dragon Knight duties and Kitchel of her information gathering?"

Disgruntled, Alfeegi fidgeted slightly. "Well, no, but—"

"From what I understand, those two have been rivals since the day they met. And I think they rather enjoy it," he added with a mischievous smile.

"But if they continue with this sort of behaviour who know what will be destroyed next! A thief will always be a thief!"

Ruwalk gave a small cough. "Well, I have a proposition." Seeing that he had both of their attention he pulled out a flyer from a stack of papers he had been hiding behind. "There's a sort of game show coming by."

"What game show?" Alfeegi asked with a dubious look on his face. "And what were doing back there?"

Ignoring the last question, Ruwalk continued. "A competition between thieves."

"Oh that's wonderful," Alfeegi snorted. "Just invite even more of those hoodlums to steal from here."

"But this is it! With this, their feud will be over. The winner will be declared as the best thief in the world!"

"In the world?" Lykouleon repeated. "Then that would include the yokai right?"

Ruwalk shifted uncomfortably. "Well…yes…"

"Splendid!" the Dragon Lord smiled, making both of his Dragon Officers stare at him in surprise. "If Nadil comes along to watch, it'll be even grander!"

Large sweat beads appeared by Ruwalk's and Alfeegi's head. "And how would that be better, my Lord?" Alfeegi asked.

"I've been wanting to challenge him to a game of chess…" He blinked when he heard a loud crash and found both Ruwalk and Alfeegi on their sides. "…Is something wrong?"

"Nothing," they both sighed.

"So that's settled then," Lykouleon smiled broadly.

"I shall go and attend to the security of the area," Tetheus's voice came from some corner of the room, making all three of them jumped.

"DON'T DO THAT!!" all three yelled in surprise as Tetheus emerged from his shadowy hiding place and walked toward the door.

He just raised an eyebrow. "I have done that for countless numbers of times. I would think that you would be used to it by now…"

"But it's still creepy," Ruwalk grumbled as the Black Dragon Officer left the Dragon Lord's office.

And thus, the Dragon Lord with his two Dragon Officers began to plan how to convince the two former thieves (well, they are still thieves at heart and do steal sometimes…) to participate in this event.

And what of the other Dragon Officer you ask? Well he's not in the story right now, so wait until the next chapter my chickadees!


	2. Can We Say Loud?

Who's the Best Thief? – Can We Say Loud?

Doot doot doot…Working on vacation whee o.O;

* * *

"A _thief_ competition?" Rune repeated incredulously.

Rath nodded as he took a bite out of his drumstick. "S'what Ruwalk said. It's ta see who's the best thief in the world. They think it will finally settle the feud between the two."

Rune just snorted. "Probably would _provoke_ them even more than settle it. Where is it being held?"

"Right here in the Dragon Castle!"

The mouthful of water that had just entered Rune's mouth suddenly found itself on the table as Rune thumped himself repeatedly in the chest, coughing. "WHAT?!"

A small sweat bead appeared next to Rath's head. "That's right…Lykouleon approved it, too."

"And how are they going to make sure that nothing _else_ will be stolen?"

"That's where Tetheus comes in, duh."

Rune sighed and took another swig of his water. _Well…if Tetheus is on the case I guess it won't be so bad…_ "Who all is attending?"

"Other than Thatz and Kitchel, assuming they manage to get them to play in it, I have no idea." Rath chewed on his chicken thoughtfully. "But who else would enter it?"

"Petty thieves." Rune frowned. "But I wonder if that would mean that the…" His eyes widened as he quickly stuffed some food into his mouth.

Rath only blinked and looked over at him confused. "Would mean what, Rune?"

The faerie only shook his head. There was no way he would let Rath get excited over the prospect of youkai coming, not after the peace treaty, which was pretty fragile enough itself. Rath suddenly killing viewers and contestants would be the last thing the world needed. Rune's stomach grew ill at the thought.

The Dragon Knight of Fire just shrugged it off and leaned back in his seat. "…You know I just realized something."

"Mmf?"

"Thatz wasn't here for lunch."

Silence.

Thatz glared angrily at Kitchel, his arms crossed. "This had better be good, Kitchel. I missed a good lunch because of you."

"Could you _not_ think of your stomach for once?" Kitchel sighed.

There was a moment of silence as Thatz thought about this prospect. "No."

Kitchel slapped a hand to her face and gave a low growl. "What. Ever. Thatz, we have got to talk."

"Yeah we do. Where's the money that you owe me?!"

"THATZ I'M SERIOUS!"

He cringed and held an arm up in defense. "All right, all right…what is it?"

The thief sighed and held up a flyer. "Have you seen this?"

Thatz blinked and took the flyer from her hands. He stared at the sack of money right in the middle for a few seconds before looking at the rest of the flyer. At the top there was a banner with the words "Are YOU the best thief?" on it. Below the sack of money (which Thatz took another good few seconds to stare at) there were a few lines of words that Thatz read aloud.

"To every thief out there who believes he or she is the best in the world, come to Draqueen to show every other poser who the true master thief is. Grand Prize: Whatever your heart desires and 1,000,000,000,000 gold." Thatz did a double take as dollar signs formed in his eyes. "ONE **TRILLION** GOLD??!?!"

Kitchel nodded. "That's right."

"Hammina hammina hammina…"

"…Uh…yeah…" She took the flyer back and looked at it again. "Took you long enough to read it. Anyway, don't you think this is a little…fishy? I mean, who would have that kind of cash? And what's really in it for us? How do we know this is not just some ploy by the police or something?" She turned back to Thatz, only to see him still drooling over the grand prize money. Twitching slightly, she rolled up the parchment and smacked the Dragon Knight hard against his head. "THATZ!"

He gave a yell of surprise and rubbed his head. "Geez Kitchel! I was just imagining all the food I could buy with that!"

"STOP THINKING ABOUT FOOD!!"

"HEY! I MISSED LUNCH BECAUSE OF YOU SO YOU BETTER BUY ME ONE!"

"?! I AIN'T BUYING YOU NOTHING!"

"DOUBLE NEGATIVE! DOUBLE NEGATIVE!! AND "AINT" AIN'T A WORD!"

"IT IS IN CAPS!"

"SHUT UP!"

"NO YOU SHUT UP!"

"WELL I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU IN THAT COMPETITION!"

"IN YOUR DREAMS, _HAS BEEN_!"

Now _that_ was something Thatz would not let slide by.

"Ooooh those be fightin' words, eh? Well then you're on! The winner has to be the loser's servant for a **month**!"

"FINE!"

In the midst of their arguing (which still continued), the two did not notice a pair of glowing green eyes watching them in the darkness.

Ruwalk looked up from his desk when he heard a knock on his door. "Yes?"

Cernozura poked her head in. "Um…Ruwalk…I think there's something wrong with Rath and Rune…"

Blinking, the Dragon Officer stood up from his chair and followed the attendant to the dining hall, where the two Dragon Knights in question were just sitting in the same positions as they had been since Rath made his observation of Thatz missing from the table. Ruwalk walked over to the two and waved a hand in front of their blank faces. Seeing no response he rubbed his chin. "You didn't put anything in the food did you?"

"Ruwalk!"

He grinned at her. "Just kidding. Hm…lets snap them out of this daze shall we?" The Dragon Officer leaned over to Rath and whispered the word "Youkai" into the Dragon Knight's ear.

Immediately Rath jolted out of his stupor. "DEMON?! WHERE?!" he yelled frantically as he knocked over his chair while swinging his sword madly.

Rune also snapped out of his daze and quickly subdued Rath with a boulder. "WE'RE IN THE DRAGON CASTLE YOU IDIOT!"

Ruwalk leaned over to Cernozura. "Is it just me, or does this chapter seem rather…loud?" The attendant only giggled. He cleared his throat and stepped up to the two Dragon Knights. "Care to tell me why you two were in a petrified state?"

"Rath made the observation that Thatz was not here for lunch," Rune answered, still in disbelief.

Sweat beads appeared next to the two Dragon Knights as the stared at the horrified faces of Ruwalk and Cernozura, their bodies stiff.

"I wonder if we were like that," Rath murmured.

"I really hope not and if we were, no one but these two saw it," Rune sighed.

"Hm…" Rath took out a camera and snapped a picture of the two. "Man I love this thing!"

Rune was too concerned about the two statues in front of him to come up with a reprimand for Rath. He waved a hand in front of their faces and stood there thoughtfully. "Hm…I got it." He coughed. "Uh oh, here comes Alfeegi and he looks as if he's on a rampage!"

At this Ruwalk snapped out of his shock and yelled, "KAI-STERN MADE ME GIVE HIM EXTRA MONEY!! HE MADE ME I TELL YOU!!"

The two Dragon Knights just stared at him with an eyebrow raised. Even Cernozura, who was freed by Ruwalk's shout out, was looking at the Dragon Officer strangely. Realizing that Alfeegi was nowhere to be seen, Ruwalk let out a long sigh of relief. "Uh…heh."

"We didn't look as stupid as you did, did we?" Rune asked bluntly.

Cernozura blinked. "Look stupid?"

Rath held up the instantly processed picture of the two. "Like that."

The two immediately returned to their state of horror.

"GOD DAMMIT!" Rune cursed.

Rath just stared at his friend. "…You cursed…"

The faerie just muttered something as they went through the process all over again.

At that same moment, Thatz and Kitchel barged right into Lykouleon's office, surprising both the Dragon Lord and Alfeegi who had just come in to deliver him another stack of papers to sign.

"LORD LYKOULEON! WE'RE ENTERING THE WHO'S THE BEST THIEF GAME SHOW!"

Lykouleon smiled up at Alfeegi who just stood there stupefied. "Well that was easy."

Thatz blinked. "You know about it?"

"I had been hoping that both of you would participate in it."

"You did?" they repeated in unison.

"I hear that Ekidonna will be in it," Lykouleon mused as he picked up a document. "And seems to be the only one to represent the youkai. Claims he will, if I may quote, 'kick any of those Dragon thieves ass.'"

Alfeegi stared at Lykouleon. "You did _not_ just actually read that word for word."

The Dragon Lord just shrugged. "I said I quoted." He turned back to his two eager participants. "So you see…er…" Both he and Alfeegi had sweat beads next to their faces as the flames of anger engulfed both Thatz and Kitchel. "…I shall send in the registrations immediately."

"EKIDONNAAAAAAAAA!!!!" the two suddenly erupted, raising their fists into the air, veins popping all over the place.

Not too far away in a not so distant town in an even more precise location of the local tavern, Ekidonna sneezed. "Hm…someone must be talking about me…heh, must be praise for my great skills in thievery!"

Kai-stern, the Dragon Officer who finally appeared even though it was at the end of the chapter, sipped his glass as he watched the youkai laugh heartily and take a swig from his own mug. He reached into his pocket and pulled a folded up parchment. Unfolding it, he scanned the contents again and glanced back at the youkai thief only a few tables away. _No doubt about it. He will definitely be there…That guy…_ He dropped his head onto the counter. _We're all doomed._


End file.
